C³

Often in our daily lives we seem to get confused. From that confusion we create a drama  . . with some kind of climax in one way or another. During this emotionally engaging opera we are undecisive, procrastinate and create circumstances that increase pressure on ourselves. We run away from the source of our confusion and begin to hide our feelings from even our partner or  close friends. We want help but don’t dare to ask. Asking for help is an opening and to open up causes feelings of guilt and shame. We suffer our way to the climax.

Could we change the course of  those events as they unfold?

We might if we begin the clearance with taking some deep breaths and exhale slowly. Then we have to take a crucial step: acknowledging what is going on. Since we are often emotionally caught up by the chain of events, this can be tricky. The key is to take the position of someone who describes everything perceivable like an observer. It can be very helpful to do this with a trusted person. By speaking out just what is happening there is already some clearance. This increases our inclination to search for appropriate actions.

Why is it so difficult to ‘report’ (to ourselves or someone else) personal confusion? Because we don’t have control over our confusion. By asking for help we have to at least temporarily give up that control. We ourselves missed somewhere on the way a point of clarity and now we have to take the consequence. If we have the courage to address this there is nothing wrong about it and we learn. By learning to acknowledge we regain our confidence and deepen it.

Why can we not just wait for the climax, the physical, emotional and/or mental collaps? The answer is: how much do we want to suffer? And how much time, energy and creativity do we want to invest in escaping the problem and therefore increase the confusion?

So here are some practical steps:
1.if confusion arises, feel it, acknowledge it.
2.take at least three deep breaths with long exhales
3.give up control and just express what is happening (to yourself by e.g. writing it down or to a trusted person)
4.ponder your options of immediate actions you could take to clarify the situation
5.choose and take action
6.move on with your life and be happy

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 21st, 2008 at 12:40 pm and is filed under Cultivation. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.