Day 197
"Reader! Zen, zen, Zen, ZENzen, zenzen . . . ZenZen . . . .quiet . . Zen . .loud . . . Zen, quiet sitting . . . just sitting . . .zen . . zenzenzen . . . thoughts . . . let pass . . . let go . . . zen . . . quietLOUD! . . . LET GO!! LET the FUCK GO!!!! . . . it doesn'' work! . . . sudden ZEN . . . quiet . . stillness . . . deeper . . . just let . . gooo . . . . deeper . . . ?.??-!!! . . . - - - - - - deeper - - nothing . . fear! . . nothing . . . drop that . . . but . . drop it! . .stop IT!! . . . nothing . . . again!! the others!! again HE!!! SHIT . . I quit . . . sitting . . . . just sitting - - what ? - - ? - - - p>